Gowf and Howf

By Colin McAllister

 
On Saturdays after our game of gowf
We play the nineteenth hole in our howf.
We usually play it as a par 4,
But sometimes it is a par 5 or more.

In the Whey Pat you’ll not get a bad lie
And it serves up an excellent Scotch pie!
It is a place where golfers will hunker
With no fear of catching a bad bunker.

Here each golfer his pet theory expounds
And declares He is never Out of Bounds,
And there are no ifs and buts,
But it is years since he had three putts.

When all has been said and all has been done,
“See you next Saturday, at half past one?”